Choices and Non Choices

There is something I learned this pregnancy.... everyone has an opinion on something. Even if they have never held a baby before. Some of the best have been about the fact I can not be a stay at home mom. (From people in my work building!) We need the two incomes, and I carry the health insurance. Many assume that I don't want to, but trust me, I would if I could! Some of the advice I have gotten from friends and family have been super helpful. There has been encouragement at every turn for everything. Some things I can't control, but some things I can. It is those choices that will shape the life of myself, my family and my baby. There is one choice that has heavy opposition on either side. Breastfeeding. Now, I made the decision to breastfeed, and a lot of people I know are not or are not fans of it. I am cool if you don't want to, and that is your own thing, but you would be surprised at the anti breast feeding movement. (Note: not so much from the people I know.) Last night, I attended Breastfeeding class, and it was very apparent that the instructor was extremely pro breastfeeding and anti pumping (meaning full time stay at home mom/breast feeder). The anti pumping bit did not sit well with me because I have no choice, but it was an extremely liberating and exciting class, because you learned about all the ways that breast feeding helps you and your baby and how your body is trained to feed the baby. Some benefits I had heard of ( bonding experience, less chance of SIDS, Better immune system for baby, faster weight loss) and some were new to me (less chance of cancers in breast feeding moms, better immune system for mom). I am more excited and beginning to really feel ready for the boy! The whole point though.... is that we are making the decisions about how we raise our children. This is much like our mothers and their mothers before them and so on. Times have changed, and there is a lot more to think about. Do we cloth diaper? Do we breast feed? Do we make our own baby food? We should respect and understand each others decisions and encourage each other as moms.

Know What is Wonderful....

When you go to the diabetes doctor, and she suggests peanut butter ice cream for a bedtime snack. I totally can't wait for my food order to come in tonight!

Starting to Feel Overwhelmed... Why Doesn't Anyone Just Feel Whelmed?

So reaching my third trimester and knowing the little guy is making his grand entrance in 12 weeks or less is starting to freak me out a little. We still have so much to do, but with the weekends filling up and the downtime sparse, we are really going to have to work hard to get things ready. So I figured a little To Do List would be helpful, and I figured I would keep it here.

1. Prepare the Nursery - The Nursery used to be the stuff room, so there is an odd collection of things, not to mention all of my craft stuff and Mr.'s business stuff, that need to be packaged up and stored down in our basement. That is proving to be a project of epic proportions, but it is coming along. Our crib and dresser/changing table are en route to our house in the coming weeks and as soon as everything is out, we will start setting up and putting up artwork. We will be calling for able bodied peoples to help with the moving stuff around. (Murforelli, we are totally taking you up on your offer!) We pay in beer and pizza.

2. Paperwork! - It seems like all of a sudden I have a bunch to fill out. I need to fill out insurance stuff, maternity leave stuff and more recently we received the paperwork to fill out for the hospital. Not to mention I am trying to get together a list of numbers of people who should be notified of Monkey's arrival and other important things.

3. Washing clothes & toys and sterilizing the baby bottle/breast pump stuffs - This one is self explanatory. We already have a lot to wash and put away, and I am anticipating that we will have more as the months wear on. (Which is awesome!) Also toys need to be washed, pacifiers need to be washed and all my feeding stuff needs to be sterilized. That is fast approaching as we may be welcoming the monkey sooner rather than later (if he gets too big, is in too much distress, etc.)

4. Pre-Preparing Meals- I was really hoping that I would have that started by now, with freezing sauce, but I will begin within the next few weeks. Hopefully we aren't sick of pasta by summers end.

Sure it is only a four point list. But each point is filled with time sucking stuff. It seems like everything is never going to get there, but I know it will and hopefully soon we will be close and I can breathe easier.

They call this a non stress test??? Really?

Yesterday was a little scary for my taste... after the Monkey didn't do his usual 11:30 PM to 4 AM kickathon and didn't really react to breakfast ,the doctor (I was there for my 28 week appointment), thought it was important enough to do a non stress test. Mr. came with me, as he always does.

What is a non stress test? Well, you get hooked up to a fetal monitor that monitors the heart rate and movement of the little guy (and contractions if necessary). You sit there for 20 minutes listening to the baby's heart beat, and then in 20 minutes the doctor comes in and checks a sheet of paper that measures the rate/activity.

When the doctor came to check, she asked me about the movement, and when I told her that I wasn't feeling much movement (I had only felt one kick) she told me there was not enough movement. The heart beat was perfect, but with not a lot of movement, my son failed his first test. So the doctor explained that we had to see whether or not he is happy, because if he is not happy in the uterus, then he wouldn't grow and thrive and he would be better on the outside. She ordered me to go to an ultrasound to right away and I thought I was ok... then all the nurses were in with the doctor, checking me out.

Then she started the line of questioning... "Have you taken your childbirth class yet?", "Do you have a pediatrician?" and "have you decided on the circumcision yet?"

That was when I started to freak out a little. I hid it well and Mr. didn't realize it until later when I told him how freaked out I was. We aren't ready. We don't have everything done. If we were to go today we have no clue what to do, we had (I took care of that right away yesterday) no pediatrician, we hadn't gone over my labor wishes (not a "plan" cause I know circumstances change), the room isn't done, and bags aren't packed. I am NOT ready. He is NOT ready. I felt overwhelmed and afraid....and hearing Mr. talking about being nervous did not help, but I was glad to know at that moment I was not alone.

We got to the ultrasound and then had to wait for an hour. But when we got to see him, he was fine (a little stuck and frustrated and kicking my spine) and the biggest wave of relief washed over me. I still worry and wonder what is in store for us these last 12 weeks or so, but as John Lennon said in Beautiful Boy "Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans." So last night, we talked about a new plan.... what happens if he comes early. And today, I feel a bit better knowing that we can handle anything that gets thrown in our way.

But the boy is sooo grounded for the next three months or so.

The Home Stretch!

I can not believe that Thursday I am 27 weeks along with the Monkey. It will be my last week in the second trimester.... a trimester I will miss when I am gone! I could actually do stuff and see people! It was like night and day between the trimesters!

But we are in the homestretch and are preparing for life as a family of three (and a kitty)!

Ok, let's see what this third trimester has in store for me!

Gestational Diabetes & Me...

So it turns out I did have gestational diabetes, which can cause the baby to get too big. I have to watch what I eat, count carbs and make sure I eat 6 times a day.

All in all, I think the only thing that the boy is not pleased about is counting the portions (smaller meals and no Spagetti O's (my signature craving) - obviously the end of the world as he knows it), but it is for his own good, and is not going to change no matter how many times he kicks me in the bladder or the ribs really hard!

This also means I must face my fear of needles head on. I have to test my blood sugar 4 times a day and take insulin at night. Although I must say... I can't really do the insulin every night by myself. Frank helps me on the nights he is not playing.

Of course this also means that they will be monitoring the little guy to make sure he is not getting too big/getting stressed out in there. When they determine he is close to being too big, I get to have the amneo test and they will check his lungs to make sure they are fully developed. Then they will talk induction... and while I want to meet him sooner rather than later... he needs to bake a bit more.

So that's whats new with me!!!